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| Movie Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine Alternate Title: X-Men Origins: Pile O' Crap
Story: Oh dear. Disappointment
abounds in this uninspired, redundant fourth film in the X-Men series.
Directed by South African Gavin Hood (Tsotsi and
Rendition) and written by David Benioff and Skip
Woods we get nothing new, nothing to sink our teeth into and
essentially no plot. A prequel, or an origins film needs to be revealing.
It should explain character and make you believe that the already known
storyline has depth. Inject a big sigh here - that is sadly missing
from this run of the mill slice and dice, kick and explode preview to
the spate of forthcoming summer movies. It is 1845 and we meet young mutant brothers
Logan and Victor. They run away as young boys and the next thing we
see is a montage in which they are fighting in every American War since
that time. They are good at killing and seem to have stopped aging at
about the age of 38 or 39 (wish I had that formula). Fast forward to
an evil military guy who forms a team of mutants for special assignments.
Fast even more forward and, oh, who cares? There's lots of explosions,
some cheesy laboratory experiments, big fight scenes where everyone
can really jump high and cannot seem to be killed and oh, who cares? Watch the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPmbGzQaOCs Acting: Hugh Jackman as Logan/Wolverine puts his heart
and soul into everything he does and that is admirable. His Australian
accent leaks through occasionally but he is always nice for eye candy.
Liev Schreiber as Victor Creed has the best lines and
seems to be having fun. He reminded me of his character in Defiance.
Danny Huston as the evil Stryker was not evil enough
for me. Will.i.am as John Wraith could have been played
by anyone. Lynn Collins as the love interest, Kayla
Silverfox was pretty. Kevin Durand as fat Fred Dukes
was a stupid waste of a part. Dominic Monaghan as Bradley
did not have enough face time. Taylor Kitsch as Remy
LeBeau is very cute. Daniel Henney as Agent Zero was
a very bad ass and Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson is
adorable. Trivia: I confess that I was one of the many who saw
the infamous pirated work print of this movie while on a recent vacation.
Do not ask me how - I will not reveal the source. Four of us watched
the print. I was the only one who had seen the other X-Men films (therefore
the only fan). Before I tell you about the work print let me also confess
that I almost never watch movies at home. I like the BIG screen and
the entire BIG screen experience. Watching movies at home is too distracting.
This pirated film is awful with a capital A. The fight scenes contain
CGI images not yet turned into the 'humans' they are supposed to be.
The stars are seen wearing wires and harnesses. Some of the scenes are
incomprehensible in exposition and audio and the ending is head scratching.
Most of the film is laughable. Seeing the work print made me really
want to see the film on the big screen. Do not waste your time with
either.
Predilection: I like the X-Men series.
Critters: A rat
Food: No food is actually eaten because action scenes
interrupt eating.
Sex Spectrum: None
Blatant Product Placement: In the pirated movie there
is a Budweiser can in clear view. In the real movie there is no product
placement. Perhaps Budweiser changed their minds after seeing the final
film and withdrew their product.
Soundtrack: Loud
Opening Titles: A short sequence showing little Logan
and his brother Victor.
Visual Art: Comic book style ka-pows.
Theater Audience: There were the same number of people
in the theater as there was in the living room of the pirated film I
saw.
Quirky Meter: 0
Squirm Scale: 0
Drift Factor: I drifted
Predictability Level: If you have seen the other
films you will not be surprised by anything.
Tissue Usage: 0
Oscar Worthy: No
Big Screen or Rental: Neither. Check out the other
X-Men in the series. X-Men (http://judithwolfe.com/lobosmoviereviews/reviews/xmen.html)
X2: X-Men United (http://judithwolfe.com/lobosmoviereviews/reviews/X2.html)
and X-Men: The Last Stand (http://judithwolfe.com/lobosmoviereviews/reviews/laststand.html)
Length: Thankfully, under two hours
LOBO HOWLS: 3
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