Movie Review: The Pledge

Story: I am lactose intolerant. I also get intolerant with films that show so very much promise in the previews and then let you down. I am not crying over spilled milk here, but this movie soured. New Zealand writer director Harry Sinclair delivers a cup of quirk, some charming characters and impressive countryside vistas, but there is no there - there. All the magic realism in the world gets boring when there is no plot. Boy loves girl - girl screws up and loses boy - will they get back together again? This kind of stuff is very old news.
Acting: Danielle Cormack and Karl Urban as the young couple are sweet but I just didn't care after a while. The Maori's are always interesting.
Critters: One adorable, agoraphobic dog named Nigel and 117 black and white cows. Moo!
Food: Buckets and vats of milk, peas, pizza and breakfast cereal.
Visual Art: Much ado about a beautiful quilt.
Blatant Product Placement: Kellogg's Corn Flakes.
Soundtrack: Symphonic pieces by early 20th Century Russian composers. Intrusive.
Opening Titles: Sweet opening titles sewn into the quilt.
Theater Audience: A dream come true. It was a private showing for my LOBO list friend Mark (who is visiting from San Francisco) and me. I kept turning around but there was no one else there. Mark recently spent a bit of time in New Zealand so he was able to fill in some of the blanks for me about the ways of the 'Kiwi's.
Sappy Factor: 0
Quirky Meter: 4
Squirm Scale: 0
Tissue Usage: 0
Oscar Worthy: No
Nit Picking: The trailers for the movies are offering way too much information. They either tell you the entire story or market it as something it is not.
Big Screen or Rental: Rental. But better yet, rent 'Once Were Warriors' which is a fabulous New Zealand film.
Length: 87 minutes (it seemed longer).
LOBO HOWLS: 5 (very generous)