Movie Review: Minority Report

Story: Here's my minority review - I did not like this film. I cannot prescribe seeing this film. It is about a society 50 years in the future that has a technologically advanced pre-crime unit that uses three genetically altered humans known as 'pre-cogs' who prevent crime from occurring. I liked the premise but was not prepared to be so disappointed. I am sure that our present Justice Department also loved the idea of arresting people before they commit a crime...the thought police on the big screen.

The film is adapted from a story by late sci-fi writer Philip K. Dick but unfortunately director Steven Spielberg can be very predictable. Many of his 'sci-fi' films are becoming formulaic. I do not take away any of his talent - it is just that his films are becoming very ho-hum. You know the ingredients: a kid (either dead, alive or in limbo, the pained mother, the obsessed father, the villain who will get his comeuppance, some sitcom type folksiness, a few gadgetry humanoid type thingies and an ending that goes on and on and on. (Is it un-American not to like a Spielberg film?)

There are also some preposterous plot holes, leaps of faith, hum drum chases (that go on way too long - if you want to see some good chase scenes go see The Fast Runner and The Bourne Identity instead) and a bunch of characters who gave me the creeps. The short of it is...I just did not care what happened to anybody - in the future, the present or the past.

(*Please note that there were extenuating circumstances which added to my lack of enjoyment...see theater audience category below for more details.)

Acting: Tom Cruise is back with his stare. He has that look down pat. When dialogue just does not do the trick his characters always give us one of those penetrating stares. Snore! Samantha Morton as one of the pre-cogs has the juiciest role. Max Von Sydow looked drugged.

Critters: Some rats and some techno spidery things.

Food: There was food on some of the dinner tables but I don't remember anyone eating. There is also a gross scene with some spoiled food.

Blatant Product Placement: So many blatant products displayed it was a bit overwhelming. The biggest ones I can recall are Lexus, Pepsi, Aquafina and a funny scene that takes place in a GAP store of the future.

Soundtrack: A John Williams score...need I say more?

Theater Audience: *This is what happened to distort my appreciation of this movie. I got to the theater at 1:40 for a 1:45 show - mind you, this is a Monday afternoon. The lobby was jam-packed with irate customers screaming that the lines are moving too slow. One of the employees directs us to a MovieFone machine and tells us there will be no surcharge if we buy our tickets in the lobby machine. I go for it, grab my ticket and head up to my multiplex theater. My shock and horror when I enter the theater...there are no seats! What the heck's going on? It is a Monday afternoon. Doesn't anyone work anymore? I find a seat in the FIRST row. Oh my gawd! The FIRST row! Should I stay, should I go? If I go to complain and ask for a rain-check will I have a fight with the manager and then not be able to return to my favorite theater because I am pissed at them? What to do? I decide to stay. Have you ever sat in the first row? Everyone has a very wide butt and a pinhead. So yes, my view of the film was somewhat distorted but the plot still stunk...no matter where I would have sat.

Opening Titles: I don't remember because I was still seething about where I was sitting.

Sappy Factor: 4

Squirm Scale: 5 Lots of very squirmy stuff about eyeballs.

Predictability Level: Off the scale.

Tissue Usage: none.

Oscar Worthy: Ha!

Nit Picking: Other than the huge holes in the plot what really bothered me was that as advanced as this technological film tried to be (after all...it was supposed to be 50 years in the future) the people depicted in the film were dressed as if it were today, the name brand products were the same as today. In fact, nothing seemed to have changed much at all except for the pre-crime unit and the modes of transportation.

Big Screen or Rental: Who cares? Here are some of my favorite Tom Cruise movies that you can rent: Magnolia, Interview With the Vampire, Born On the Fourth of July, Rain Man, The Color of Money and my favorite, Risky Business . For some better Spielberg films, how about: Amistad, Schindler's List, Jurassic Park, Hook, Empire of the Sun, The Color Purple, E.t. the Extra-Terrestrial, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Carol's favorite...Jaws

Length: 15 minutes over the 2 hour rule.

LOBO HOWLS: 5 (I wanted to give it a 4 but I figure my bad seat should not be the reason to deduct another point.